A student who is perhaps the kindest and most gentle spirit I have ever met brought me a flat brown booger and announced, "This fell out of my nose and onto my lap. I don't know what it is." It's a booger. Throw it away. Also, wash your hands.
Another student ate her toenail. Toenail. No joke. Every five minutes like clockwork I tell her to put her shoes back on. I passed on my regualarly scheduled reminder in favor of not interrupting a story. Bad idea. She peeled it right off and popped it in her mouth. I would like to say I handled it with grace and dignity. But just as 20 Kindergartners were hanging on my words to find out what Marcel the Sheep did to help his turtle friend that was stuck under a big pot of vegetables I shouted "GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. YUCK. YUCK. GROSS. WE DON'T PUT THINGS LIKE THAT IN OUR MOUTHS!!!!"
I would like it on the record that I let countless booger eatings go every day. You can't find everything. Toenail - I had to intervene. If you know "The Toenail Story" you know why.
Many moons ago I cleaned a podiatrist office on the weekends. I'd vacuum up giant crusty toenails - This was bad. Very bad. I never cared much for feet. Like, I know they won't hurt me. Logically, I know this. But, if you come near me with your bare foot my heart will being to pound and I'll break out in a cold sweat. I might also scream and run for my life. I. Don't. Like. Feet.
So, anyhow...Vacuuming was bad enough what with the sound of toenails being sucked up and all. But, one day I was wiping down the exam chair. And I kneeled to get to a low lying part of the chair. I was summer. I was in shorts. Yes. I got a toenail stuck on my knee. And people who go to a podiatrist to have their toenails sawed off do not have delicate and lovely feet. Or toenails. Trauma. Clearly or I certainly wouldn't have interrupted Marcel the Sheep to scream across the room.
Speaking of feet. What age is it reasonable to expect self grooming? Because, seriously...It wont' be much longer I find these things all that cute.
Sorry to tell you that even in 3rd grade, there is still a little "organic snacking" going on. The other day I happened upon just such an incidence. As is my habit, I said simply to the kid, "please go wash your hands." This, of course, is code for, "I see you picking your nose and eating it, and though I'm not going to call you out in front of your peers, that is gross." Imagine my dismay when the kid replies, loudly and indignantly, "What! Why?" This, I did not dignify with a response of course. :)
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